It's been a while since my last post. I've had quite a few things on....Hugo turning 3, DBT Therapy (which is a full time thing when I'm using it correctly), time with the bambinos (which has been amazing), Reuben turning 5 and many other things.
This week has been overcast and quite a cloudy week. I've been upset and not in a great place emotionally. Which has been an absolutely hard week......but I've made it to Friday and looking from the outside in and taking a step back. I see that this time last year, a week like this would have meant a stay in a unit, with me been willful (which I'm really good at) and no output apart from harming myself and lashing out at others around me. This has been slightly different, it's been horrible and felt like hell on Earth, but I've managed to use my DBT skills and my 121 therapist for help with this. I'm really lucky I think, and blessed that I've been able to endure this week of upset by sleeping in my own bed at night, been able to continue my Uni work and been able to stay in life. So every cloud has a silver lining.
I've done another video for India (and the boys of course). The lyrics remind me of my gorgeous little girl (who is stubborn like her momma), and it reminds me that I'm here to hold her hand and tell her it's going to be ok and that I will move mountains for my children. Which is exactly how cloudy weeks like this feel. But I'll doo it for them!!! I've just been reminded of my goals and who I am foremost, a mummy!
'And you can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
Move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
For you'
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